Introduction part 3 - Here and now - home, family, love

So it seems it turns out there is a third cycle of the story to introduce, so a little more further ado before I continue with the beginning seems in order after all…

So here I am, 5 or so years later, and after a period in my life that felt very interesting and extraordinary, my life now sometimes feels very normal, ordinary, even mundane sometimes, as I struggle to keep up with the day to day things to do. 

But really, it is actually very magical. 

Magical home sky

I am where I am right now because of the journey I have taken, all that I have experienced and learned along the way, and the choices I have made for myself. Choices to follow my heart, to be close to nature, to know spirit, and to live my soul truth. To follow my intuition and my instinct, to release what no longer serves as I go, to allow myself to receive whatever I need, to choose to be more of myself. More and more as I go, even if not every day, forward I move in my life as the time passes…

And so I find myself, here and now, exactly where I want to be, finding my way as I go, living, loving, learning; with my beautiful partner and our growing family, in our home that we love, working slowly but steadily towards the future of our extraordinary magical dreams. And hoping that maybe we can find some ways as we go, to make the world, at least just a little bit, a better place, for us having been part of it all…

It's funny really because it seems that while many of my life goals are quite different to the mainstream, perhaps some might even say in some cases quite radically so, it turns out that really I've actually always wanted first and foremost all the traditional things that are sort of what 'one does' - a partner, a family, a home…, but in many ways I perhaps didn't let myself believe or even know this, or let it be a possibility somehow… Not least because I feel there are many important decisions to be made regarding these things, and because these things are not entirely within one's control, but also because of the many mixed up complicated feelings and thoughts about these things that have been tangled up on my way through life, and indeed because of some of the other things that seem so important to focus on too, while these things do require attention and energy and commitment for their true fulfilment.

So it's been part of the journey to untangle all that, to allow it to really be just as simple as it is, at the heart of it. To find the things that really matter the most in life, to me. 

To find a partner with whom to grow, to learn, to communicate, to work, to commit, to connect, to love; to be our wonderfully imperfect selves to the fullest we can, while striving to improve ourselves as we go, and loving each other unconditionally and wholeheartedly despite, or perhaps because of, all the many flaws we still could do with ironing out… 

My beloved in a woolly mode

To find our home, our home where our hearts are. This stunning land that we live on and its beautiful nature surrounding us, immersing us, enclosing us in its embrace, our Halcyon Haven, as I call it, our sanctuary of golden days. And to love our home as it is right now and just enjoy it without always seeing the many things still to do. To enjoy being present on our land, and also the presence of others!

Koala

Wink!

One of the members of our local wren family

To birth one child, and have another on the way; to love those little beings with all our hearts and souls; every day seeing, hearing, feeling them grow and change into the wonderful creatures that they are, like an amazingly unexpected process of unfurlment and blooming. To be a mother and realise all that comes with that. All that comes with it in a general sense, expected and unexpected, learning as I go and trying, often failing, but always trying, to be just as perfect a mother as I always dreamed of being. And meanwhile even more amazingly and particularly, to be a mother to the individual unique beings that are my children, which is just such an incredible journey into the unknown and wondrous every single day. At one stage I found a goal I'd written back in 2006, to learn to cook from scratch. Now I'm working on life from scratch. A truly awesome thing to experience, and to observe, as it unfolds as it will, no matter (or perhaps even despite!) what I do. And also to feel the immense privilege, honour, and responsibility of being a parent, and just how truly it really is the most important job we can ever do in life.

We are lucky to have close and supportive extended family around us too. Families are never simple and all come with their ups and downs and complications, but we are lucky that we can manage so well with the help of ours and that we have so much love and support from so many near us, and also from family members further afield, due to the joys of technology keeping us connected as we can be. And our community of friends and other people around us too, again some nearer, some further, but all providing connection, company and joy, and also taking care of us, sharing resources for life, and advice and support in the harder times.

To know that the way we live is not yet quite how we would love it to be in our ideas and ideals, and that we have much work to do to set ourselves up for better, lighter, ways of living and to fulfil all of our creative potentials, but to allow it to take the time that it takes and not beat ourselves up in the mean time for not getting there yet while the tasks of daily family life fill our minutes and our hours so well; and instead just enjoy being where we are, right here and now, and appreciating how far we've come so far on our way.

To let all our dreams slowly come to fruition, though sometimes seemingly ever too slowly; bit by bit, one baby step at a time, moving towards our dreams and visions of the future, while living and loving each moment as we go.

So many wonderful, special, amazing things are happening all the time, as long as we can just remember to stop and notice them amidst the crazy non stop chaos that is life! So much to be cherished and treasured in every moment.