Hi there, and thank you for joining me here today. :-) I am glad you have chosen to take a look at some of the compositions I have posted here for sharing. I would love to hear from you also, so please feel free to comment or contact me.
This page gives a bit of an introductory explanation about this site, and particularly about the posts on the 'Home (Where the Heart Is)' page, so that you can have an overview of what is included here for you to explore.
Most of it is hopefully more or less pretty self explanatory. (Let me know if it's not!) There's a teensy little intro to who I am over on the right hand side, then I suppose really the rest of the site adds to that in more detail, as the other pages are all about the things that are most important to me, about how I view the world, about what I am learning along my way and what has really helped me, and about what it is that I have to share, from my heart and soul, to you. Some of it is right there on the pages, ready for you to receive, as you like, right now, and then the other pages are about experiences I can offer to share with you in person, if you choose.
If you are looking to take a step forward in your life, perhaps there is something here that might help you, just as it has helped me. I encourage you to follow your feeling, to use your intuition, to find what it could be that might be of value to you at this time. There could be something here, there could be something I could do that would be helpful for you, or perhaps this site could lead you to something else; if something jumps out at you, take a look, if you think of something else you might find here or elsewhere, look for that. Allow yourself to receive whatever you need. - Powerful words those, they have helped me many times over, more than I can quantify. And look outside of the square. If you are attracted to something that doesn't seem to be something you would usually be interested in, perhaps it's time for you to discover something new, here or elsewhere. Or if you think of something to ask me about that seems beyond the scope of what I'm offering, perhaps it's just what I'm looking for to help me further my contribution to the world!
The titles of the pages on the site should hopefully be clear enough to show what I currently have to offer here. 'Deepening Connection' and 'Simple & Sustainable Living' are components I consider central to Living Lightly With Love, and they are very important to me in my life and, I believe, for all of us, for our best future, so they each get a special mention on their own page, to bring them in as a clear focus. 'Place and Space' also has its place, its space, because I think really being where we are, and making space for what we choose to bring into the world, are very important keys. And 'Love' just 'Is the Answer,' to pretty much everything, as far as I can tell. It's the very most important key of all. Live love, share love, be love.
On the second level, 'Life As Art, Art As Life' is the home for my artistic expressions that I wish to share, for visual art, music, perhaps poetry, stories, videos, and who knows what else might end up there. It begins with my musings about Art. And 'Make, Mend, Maintain,' well, I love to make stuff, mend stuff, maintain stuff, and to share knowledge about all this, so this page is about all of that.
If you are looking for learning experiences on any of the variety of topics within the areas I include on this site, see the 'Learning & Teaching' page for more information. If you would like to bring more of the sacred into your life, see the 'Sacred Circles & Ceremonies' page. If you are looking for help with healing, please see my 'Reiki Healing' page. In my experience, Reiki Healing can be the catalyst for great change on many levels and it can be helpful even when you don't even know what it is that you really need. And if you are worried that you can't afford any kind of help to I can offer, that you feel would be beneficial to you right now, please see my 'Sharing is Caring' page, where I explain my philosophy of sharing, and offer many ways that you can receive freely without any cost attached, and also offer a variety of alternative ways that you might be able to give, if or when you are able, and only if you so choose. The best way you can give is to first let yourself receive what you need, to enable that giving, and I have found that opening to the possibility of the free flow of sharing, and allowing yourself to receive what is offered to you, helps to clear any blocks that might be getting in the way of giving and receiving being in balance in your life. I freely offer all that I have available to share, so if there's something you feel I can do to help you, let no barrier stand in the way of you receiving whatever you need. Please ask and we can explore the possibilities.
We all have our own way of understanding and interacting with the world; this is not fixed, but changes over time as our experience adds to, modifies and deepens our understanding and changes our ways of being in the world. There are many ways of understanding the world that are of value and I have come to understand that even ways that might in some way contradict each other can both be of value simultaneously, and that this diversity in viewpoints can add to the total sum of what is valuable in the world, and give us greater options for moving forward all together if we can allow the space for differing understandings to coexist. What I present here on this site is my take on things, growing, changing, deepening as I go, and I hope that what I offer here might be of value to others as well, as it has been for me, so that is why I have chosen to share it. You might not agree with everything here, but you might find that there is something that might help you at this moment. Always trust yourself, your deepest self, to know what is right for you. If you have an alternative take on a topic or theme, please feel free to present it as another positive option, for greater understanding that will help us all move forward together. And perhaps in some cases we may even find that it is possible to take these two ways together to create an additional, new way of understanding, beyond those with which we each started, so that the whole becomes even more than the sum of the parts. By sharing we can grow together, if we allow the space, and the time, for this to happen.
Last, but definitely not least, a little extra introduction to the posts on the Home page (which at the time of writing this are yet only imagined), that you can read there, or receive more or less regularly in your email inbox if you choose to subscribe to follow by email. I called this page 'Home (Where the Heart Is)' quite intentionally, as it the place for the writing from my heart, the outpourings of my creative soul. It is the place where the Writer in me becomes a reality and reaches full power of expression, and all the colours of the rainbow and even the frequencies beyond the limits of our vision are painted into stories about my experiences, across all the realms of my journeying, it is where my musings of possibilities take shape, and imagination adds dimensions and brings greater depth, meaning and understanding.
This story has been stirring inside me, begging to come out, for a long time now; perhaps even my whole life, since before the story began; and I have finally worked through the last barriers of fear and doubt that have stopped me now for so long; and now I am beginning…
I have some very big thank yous to all those who have encouraged me to share my writing, as it has been painful to my soul not to share it, as much as it has felt painful and scary to put it out there. My beautiful friend, Ilianna, open hearted Greek Goddess of Love - now you can really and truly keep on calling me your Australian writer friend, thank you for helping to make it seem an actual possibility, and Magical Being, creative Kiwi Scott, thank you for supporting me in so many moments just when I needed it, to believe in myself. To name just two of many… All the magical messages of encouragement and help along my journey from so many sources - friends, family, healers, random people I've met, facebook posts, website links, books, music, posters on walls, slogans on t shirts worn by random passing strangers, overheard conversations, my own intuition picking oracle cards and hearing messages from trees. So many spiders representing creative power, the weaving of fate, the guardians of the ancient languages and alphabets, the teachers of language and the magic of writing, appearing in front of me, crawling on my skin and my clothes, and nudging me to write, write, write. (From Ted Andrews' Animal Speak, shown to me by my lovely Wise Woman English friend Emma.)
And now that I have begun, now that I have created this space for sharing, I just feel so excited to share with you my story. I hope you enjoy it too.
I have been planning for some time now to one day rework my writings about my journey into the form of a book and publish it, my working title being "The Epic Adventures of Elizabeth, or, One Woman's Quest to Live a Meaningful Life and Contribute to the World." For now, it will come in the form that it will, flowing forth now that the flood gates have been opened, as regular additions to this page. It is not waiting any longer, to be crafted into a story beginning to end, before finding its way to its readers. This story wants to be shared right now, and share it I will. It may make more sense to read it from the beginning, starting with the earliest posts, or it may not. Maybe it will be different for every reader anyway. I don't really know yet how it will manifest itself here. I suspect it's possible that it will tumble out in random order that may or may not be connected by some other threads of sequence other than time. I will hopefully be able to cross link anything that needs reference to earlier posts in any case, the joy of the electronic format… I have copious reams of journal that I have been writing on my travels, all on one-sided paper (making it twice as heavy to carry as if I used fresh paper rather than scrap already printed on one side, but reducing the number of trees that were killed in the process of the making of this story) and bits and pieces of writing here and there as well as that, some of which have already made their way into the public via my 'longest ever' facebook status updates and even a couple of storytelling sessions. These form the basis of my creative source, along with my memories as yet unrecorded, but I have a feeling that this story may come out in some different way, unexpected, surprising me as I go, we shall see!
Comments and suggestions of a constructive nature about the writing and form are most welcome since this is an ongoing project of writing for me, as well as open sharing of thoughts, and discussion about the parts of the story and the themes that thread through as the story goes on, that will add to the experience for everyone.
And now a little introduction to the story…
In June 2013, almost exactly one year ago as I write this now, I embarked on a journey; on one level this was a physical journey, beginning in Melbourne, Victoria, in the South East of Australia, where I am from, where I was born; across the world to Europe. Right now I am in Ireland, the country of my ancestors on my maternal side; in the home of my brother and his family in a little place called Auchclogeen, in County Galway, in the West of Ireland. In the beginning, I flew from Melbourne to Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia, took a train to Johor Bahru, then travelled, from the port at Tanjung Pelepas, on a container ship; through the Malacca Strait, across the Indian Ocean, through the Pirate Zone, through the Red Sea and the Suez Canal, stopping overnight on board in Port Said, Egypt, then sailing onwards via the Mediterranean Sea, first East to Beirut, Lebanon, where I went ashore for the evening with several of my shipmates, then continuing Westwards through the Mediterranean, past the Greek Islands, then rounding the bend and sailing on, via the Ionian and the Adriatic Seas to Trieste, Italy. My primary purpose for this journey was to visit family and friends around Europe, and since arriving in Trieste in late June last year I have travelled by land and sea from there to many places across Europe - Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium, England, Wales, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Scotland, Sweden, Norway, Denmark... and round again.
The timing of this journey was significant in many ways, somehow I knew that it was time, and I just had to go, ready or not. I left home without too much of a plan and no return ticket. Aside from some very important visits I was to make, I had also come to a point in my life where many things had ended and I wasn't yet sure what was to take their place. I felt stuck, frozen, paralysed, and I couldn't figure out which way to turn or how to move forward. I wanted to provide an openness, a space, to invite in something different, something I didn't know about yet. It was time to throw open the doors to possibility, to take a step, a leap of faith, and to journey into the unknown for some seriously deep, and down to earth, life learning. Before leaving home I set some intentions for this journey, and even though I didn't really fully know what I truly needed then, somehow these intentions have come to fruition in the most amazing ways, beyond what I ever imagined was possible.
So much has happened since that beginning…
As I slowly sailed across the oceans and seas, from Malaysia onwards to Europe, I had time for myself, time for reflection and time for peeling back layers, to expose my vulnerable self and all my old buried wounds that needed to be brought to the surface for healing. Many things happened in quick succession after I arrived in Europe and I found myself racing to keep up with myself and all that was happening, but I could only move at snail's pace. I could see light shining through the cracks, and sometimes I even felt the sun on my skin, but I felt like I was buried deep beneath the ground and no matter how much I tried to dig my way out, towards the surface, I was never quite able to climb out. I was treading water with no land in sight, clinging to just one small piece of wood helping to keep me afloat, going round in circles without realising my leg was tied by a chain, and hitting all the dead ends, not seeing the only way through to the way out of the maze...
Then some more things happened and everything fell completely to pieces all over again. I was shattered, and I crawled off to lick my wounds and hide my head in the sand. I was almost back where I started, stuck, frozen, paralysed. Propped up but not solid, melting from the inside, getting sucked into negative spirals, and disappearing down the drain. I felt blinkered, and like I was wearing someone else's prescription glasses, unable to see what to do next, where to go, which way to turn, unable to move forward. It felt like there were walls right in front of me in every direction. But they were walls of my own making, walls I built to hold me up when I couldn't hold myself up, and walls to shut out all that was out there to stop me from making mistakes, but they were also stopping me from moving. And somehow, in all the confusion, this time I still knew that if the walls were of my own making, then my door to possibility was still there too. Somehow I found my way to it, flailing my hands in the dark, and I knocked on the door and asked for something, anything… And then, even then, I almost went the wrong way, and turned around to curl up in a ball back inside my walls, but then hands appeared through the door, offered to me, and these hands held my hands, and helped me take that step through that door.
And as I have travelled onwards since then, one step at a time, following where the wind has blown me, to where the calling has called me, the experiences that I have come to have brought me many important lessons, so much learning and so much healing. I feel that the world has provided me, over and over again, so many times, with what I have needed to move forwards, even though at some moments along the way it felt like what was happening was pulling me backwards, downwards, even through quicksand or mud; sometimes I think I made that necessary by not yet seeing the way up, forwards, onwards that was being given to me at the same time…
Nothing has been what I expected, but it has all made perfect sense, and strangely I've found that while the new has come in, and come in even beyond all my expectations and wildest dreams, somehow it is all also very familiar, as though it has always been here, I've always had it, always known it, always been it all along. I feel like I've somehow just come back to where I've always been, and I've learned so much but somehow it is all about so many things that I somehow feel I have always really known…
Well I guess it's not so strange really… Somehow it makes complete sense too...
Along the way I have felt much joy, care and love, and I have felt grief and sadness. I have felt long and painful confusion, frustration, disappointment and heartbreak. I have felt weak and I have felt strong. I have felt afraid and in those times I have found the strength of my courage. I have lost myself and found myself a thousand times, struggling with my tenuous hold on my own being as my layers continued peeling back. Through illness and pain my healing potential was opened to growth, and through healing, it keeps growing.
I have greeted and said goodbye to family and friends, including a last goodbye to my beautiful cousin Janet, who now comes with me on my travels in my heart. I have visited beautiful places, sacred places, places where the ancient ways live and the places of my ancestors. I have seen both the dark underbellies of many cultures, and the vibrancy of many of the old, and new, ways and traditions. I have lived with communities in many countries, I have become part of these communities. I have explored the alternative fringes in many places, found other ways of being, and discovered worlds and possibilities I never knew or really believed existed. I have met many people working towards a better future, on a journey to a new world.
And I have journeyed inwards as I have journeyed onwards. It has not all been easy, the sailing has not always been smooth, but the lessons have been necessary and I am grateful for what I have learned from all that has happened. I have learnt what it really means that every journey begins with one step, and I have learnt to take that step, and to take that step again, and each time it has been easier and the way forward has been clearer. I have finally found that moving forward doesn't have to be difficult anymore, it can be easy if you allow yourself to feel your way to the path of least resistance instead of heading blindly down every wrong turn when all the signs point the other way.
In the worst moments of my fear I have found trust. I have found myself seeking external approval, and given myself all the approval I need. I have struggled with doubt and found assurance. I have been lost in despair and I have remembered hope. I have come home to myself, I have found my place of inner quiet and stillness, and I have opened my heart to love when I didn't even know that it was closed. I have made deep and lasting connections. I have opened to the flow of sharing. My awareness has opened to new levels and my understanding deepened to new depths. I have opened up to my intuition and I have learnt to access my deepest knowing. I have found fulfilment and confidence, and I have found purpose. I believe in the power of creativity and of the resonance of those working in harmony to find balance in the world. I believe in unlimited possibilities. I believe in a wonderful future. I believe in magic.
And so it has been much more than just a physical journey; it has been a journey across many realms, through many levels of experience. And every step of the way, it has been exactly what I have needed it to be, and so much more.
I am very grateful for being able to have had the time, space, resources I have needed to give myself this time. I could not have done this without the help of many, and I am thankful every day for this. I have had help and support from people close to me, family and friends, and also from strangers, and friends I hadn't yet met. And the more I have trusted, the more help has come to me. It feels like a miracle and it makes my heart buzz with warmth and love and gratitude. I wish for everyone to have what they need just as I have had. Be open to asking, and be open to allowing yourself to receive whatever you need, and it will find its way to you, how it will. Just ask, be open, and trust. Trust is so important. And it should be so easy, but sometimes the easiest things seem to be the most difficult. Sometimes you don't even realise they're difficult because they should be easy, but then when you realise that they are difficult, even though they are easy, well that's often the first step to letting them become as easy as they really can be after all… :-)
And still my journey continues. Though I have found my way home to myself, I am not home yet in many ways, and the story goes on. It is exciting to think that I don't yet know how this story will end. All I know is that it will be amazing.
May you also always have amazing adventures, wherever you are, and whatever you do. May your life be filled with love, and may you always find what you need to help you move forward in whatever direction you choose, for your highest and greatest good.
With Love,
Liz Wade,
Living Lightly
3 June 2014
This page gives a bit of an introductory explanation about this site, and particularly about the posts on the 'Home (Where the Heart Is)' page, so that you can have an overview of what is included here for you to explore.
Most of it is hopefully more or less pretty self explanatory. (Let me know if it's not!) There's a teensy little intro to who I am over on the right hand side, then I suppose really the rest of the site adds to that in more detail, as the other pages are all about the things that are most important to me, about how I view the world, about what I am learning along my way and what has really helped me, and about what it is that I have to share, from my heart and soul, to you. Some of it is right there on the pages, ready for you to receive, as you like, right now, and then the other pages are about experiences I can offer to share with you in person, if you choose.
If you are looking to take a step forward in your life, perhaps there is something here that might help you, just as it has helped me. I encourage you to follow your feeling, to use your intuition, to find what it could be that might be of value to you at this time. There could be something here, there could be something I could do that would be helpful for you, or perhaps this site could lead you to something else; if something jumps out at you, take a look, if you think of something else you might find here or elsewhere, look for that. Allow yourself to receive whatever you need. - Powerful words those, they have helped me many times over, more than I can quantify. And look outside of the square. If you are attracted to something that doesn't seem to be something you would usually be interested in, perhaps it's time for you to discover something new, here or elsewhere. Or if you think of something to ask me about that seems beyond the scope of what I'm offering, perhaps it's just what I'm looking for to help me further my contribution to the world!
The titles of the pages on the site should hopefully be clear enough to show what I currently have to offer here. 'Deepening Connection' and 'Simple & Sustainable Living' are components I consider central to Living Lightly With Love, and they are very important to me in my life and, I believe, for all of us, for our best future, so they each get a special mention on their own page, to bring them in as a clear focus. 'Place and Space' also has its place, its space, because I think really being where we are, and making space for what we choose to bring into the world, are very important keys. And 'Love' just 'Is the Answer,' to pretty much everything, as far as I can tell. It's the very most important key of all. Live love, share love, be love.
On the second level, 'Life As Art, Art As Life' is the home for my artistic expressions that I wish to share, for visual art, music, perhaps poetry, stories, videos, and who knows what else might end up there. It begins with my musings about Art. And 'Make, Mend, Maintain,' well, I love to make stuff, mend stuff, maintain stuff, and to share knowledge about all this, so this page is about all of that.
If you are looking for learning experiences on any of the variety of topics within the areas I include on this site, see the 'Learning & Teaching' page for more information. If you would like to bring more of the sacred into your life, see the 'Sacred Circles & Ceremonies' page. If you are looking for help with healing, please see my 'Reiki Healing' page. In my experience, Reiki Healing can be the catalyst for great change on many levels and it can be helpful even when you don't even know what it is that you really need. And if you are worried that you can't afford any kind of help to I can offer, that you feel would be beneficial to you right now, please see my 'Sharing is Caring' page, where I explain my philosophy of sharing, and offer many ways that you can receive freely without any cost attached, and also offer a variety of alternative ways that you might be able to give, if or when you are able, and only if you so choose. The best way you can give is to first let yourself receive what you need, to enable that giving, and I have found that opening to the possibility of the free flow of sharing, and allowing yourself to receive what is offered to you, helps to clear any blocks that might be getting in the way of giving and receiving being in balance in your life. I freely offer all that I have available to share, so if there's something you feel I can do to help you, let no barrier stand in the way of you receiving whatever you need. Please ask and we can explore the possibilities.
A note on frames of reference, and growing together
We all have our own way of understanding and interacting with the world; this is not fixed, but changes over time as our experience adds to, modifies and deepens our understanding and changes our ways of being in the world. There are many ways of understanding the world that are of value and I have come to understand that even ways that might in some way contradict each other can both be of value simultaneously, and that this diversity in viewpoints can add to the total sum of what is valuable in the world, and give us greater options for moving forward all together if we can allow the space for differing understandings to coexist. What I present here on this site is my take on things, growing, changing, deepening as I go, and I hope that what I offer here might be of value to others as well, as it has been for me, so that is why I have chosen to share it. You might not agree with everything here, but you might find that there is something that might help you at this moment. Always trust yourself, your deepest self, to know what is right for you. If you have an alternative take on a topic or theme, please feel free to present it as another positive option, for greater understanding that will help us all move forward together. And perhaps in some cases we may even find that it is possible to take these two ways together to create an additional, new way of understanding, beyond those with which we each started, so that the whole becomes even more than the sum of the parts. By sharing we can grow together, if we allow the space, and the time, for this to happen.
Home (Where the Heart Is)
Last, but definitely not least, a little extra introduction to the posts on the Home page (which at the time of writing this are yet only imagined), that you can read there, or receive more or less regularly in your email inbox if you choose to subscribe to follow by email. I called this page 'Home (Where the Heart Is)' quite intentionally, as it the place for the writing from my heart, the outpourings of my creative soul. It is the place where the Writer in me becomes a reality and reaches full power of expression, and all the colours of the rainbow and even the frequencies beyond the limits of our vision are painted into stories about my experiences, across all the realms of my journeying, it is where my musings of possibilities take shape, and imagination adds dimensions and brings greater depth, meaning and understanding.
This story has been stirring inside me, begging to come out, for a long time now; perhaps even my whole life, since before the story began; and I have finally worked through the last barriers of fear and doubt that have stopped me now for so long; and now I am beginning…
I have some very big thank yous to all those who have encouraged me to share my writing, as it has been painful to my soul not to share it, as much as it has felt painful and scary to put it out there. My beautiful friend, Ilianna, open hearted Greek Goddess of Love - now you can really and truly keep on calling me your Australian writer friend, thank you for helping to make it seem an actual possibility, and Magical Being, creative Kiwi Scott, thank you for supporting me in so many moments just when I needed it, to believe in myself. To name just two of many… All the magical messages of encouragement and help along my journey from so many sources - friends, family, healers, random people I've met, facebook posts, website links, books, music, posters on walls, slogans on t shirts worn by random passing strangers, overheard conversations, my own intuition picking oracle cards and hearing messages from trees. So many spiders representing creative power, the weaving of fate, the guardians of the ancient languages and alphabets, the teachers of language and the magic of writing, appearing in front of me, crawling on my skin and my clothes, and nudging me to write, write, write. (From Ted Andrews' Animal Speak, shown to me by my lovely Wise Woman English friend Emma.)
And now that I have begun, now that I have created this space for sharing, I just feel so excited to share with you my story. I hope you enjoy it too.
I have been planning for some time now to one day rework my writings about my journey into the form of a book and publish it, my working title being "The Epic Adventures of Elizabeth, or, One Woman's Quest to Live a Meaningful Life and Contribute to the World." For now, it will come in the form that it will, flowing forth now that the flood gates have been opened, as regular additions to this page. It is not waiting any longer, to be crafted into a story beginning to end, before finding its way to its readers. This story wants to be shared right now, and share it I will. It may make more sense to read it from the beginning, starting with the earliest posts, or it may not. Maybe it will be different for every reader anyway. I don't really know yet how it will manifest itself here. I suspect it's possible that it will tumble out in random order that may or may not be connected by some other threads of sequence other than time. I will hopefully be able to cross link anything that needs reference to earlier posts in any case, the joy of the electronic format… I have copious reams of journal that I have been writing on my travels, all on one-sided paper (making it twice as heavy to carry as if I used fresh paper rather than scrap already printed on one side, but reducing the number of trees that were killed in the process of the making of this story) and bits and pieces of writing here and there as well as that, some of which have already made their way into the public via my 'longest ever' facebook status updates and even a couple of storytelling sessions. These form the basis of my creative source, along with my memories as yet unrecorded, but I have a feeling that this story may come out in some different way, unexpected, surprising me as I go, we shall see!
Comments and suggestions of a constructive nature about the writing and form are most welcome since this is an ongoing project of writing for me, as well as open sharing of thoughts, and discussion about the parts of the story and the themes that thread through as the story goes on, that will add to the experience for everyone.
And now a little introduction to the story…
The Epic Adventures of Elizabeth
or
One Woman's Quest to Live a Meaningful Life and Contribute to the World
A year in a moment, a journey of one step
In June 2013, almost exactly one year ago as I write this now, I embarked on a journey; on one level this was a physical journey, beginning in Melbourne, Victoria, in the South East of Australia, where I am from, where I was born; across the world to Europe. Right now I am in Ireland, the country of my ancestors on my maternal side; in the home of my brother and his family in a little place called Auchclogeen, in County Galway, in the West of Ireland. In the beginning, I flew from Melbourne to Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia, took a train to Johor Bahru, then travelled, from the port at Tanjung Pelepas, on a container ship; through the Malacca Strait, across the Indian Ocean, through the Pirate Zone, through the Red Sea and the Suez Canal, stopping overnight on board in Port Said, Egypt, then sailing onwards via the Mediterranean Sea, first East to Beirut, Lebanon, where I went ashore for the evening with several of my shipmates, then continuing Westwards through the Mediterranean, past the Greek Islands, then rounding the bend and sailing on, via the Ionian and the Adriatic Seas to Trieste, Italy. My primary purpose for this journey was to visit family and friends around Europe, and since arriving in Trieste in late June last year I have travelled by land and sea from there to many places across Europe - Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium, England, Wales, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Scotland, Sweden, Norway, Denmark... and round again.
So much has happened since that beginning…
As I slowly sailed across the oceans and seas, from Malaysia onwards to Europe, I had time for myself, time for reflection and time for peeling back layers, to expose my vulnerable self and all my old buried wounds that needed to be brought to the surface for healing. Many things happened in quick succession after I arrived in Europe and I found myself racing to keep up with myself and all that was happening, but I could only move at snail's pace. I could see light shining through the cracks, and sometimes I even felt the sun on my skin, but I felt like I was buried deep beneath the ground and no matter how much I tried to dig my way out, towards the surface, I was never quite able to climb out. I was treading water with no land in sight, clinging to just one small piece of wood helping to keep me afloat, going round in circles without realising my leg was tied by a chain, and hitting all the dead ends, not seeing the only way through to the way out of the maze...
Then some more things happened and everything fell completely to pieces all over again. I was shattered, and I crawled off to lick my wounds and hide my head in the sand. I was almost back where I started, stuck, frozen, paralysed. Propped up but not solid, melting from the inside, getting sucked into negative spirals, and disappearing down the drain. I felt blinkered, and like I was wearing someone else's prescription glasses, unable to see what to do next, where to go, which way to turn, unable to move forward. It felt like there were walls right in front of me in every direction. But they were walls of my own making, walls I built to hold me up when I couldn't hold myself up, and walls to shut out all that was out there to stop me from making mistakes, but they were also stopping me from moving. And somehow, in all the confusion, this time I still knew that if the walls were of my own making, then my door to possibility was still there too. Somehow I found my way to it, flailing my hands in the dark, and I knocked on the door and asked for something, anything… And then, even then, I almost went the wrong way, and turned around to curl up in a ball back inside my walls, but then hands appeared through the door, offered to me, and these hands held my hands, and helped me take that step through that door.
And as I have travelled onwards since then, one step at a time, following where the wind has blown me, to where the calling has called me, the experiences that I have come to have brought me many important lessons, so much learning and so much healing. I feel that the world has provided me, over and over again, so many times, with what I have needed to move forwards, even though at some moments along the way it felt like what was happening was pulling me backwards, downwards, even through quicksand or mud; sometimes I think I made that necessary by not yet seeing the way up, forwards, onwards that was being given to me at the same time…
Nothing has been what I expected, but it has all made perfect sense, and strangely I've found that while the new has come in, and come in even beyond all my expectations and wildest dreams, somehow it is all also very familiar, as though it has always been here, I've always had it, always known it, always been it all along. I feel like I've somehow just come back to where I've always been, and I've learned so much but somehow it is all about so many things that I somehow feel I have always really known…
Well I guess it's not so strange really… Somehow it makes complete sense too...
Along the way I have felt much joy, care and love, and I have felt grief and sadness. I have felt long and painful confusion, frustration, disappointment and heartbreak. I have felt weak and I have felt strong. I have felt afraid and in those times I have found the strength of my courage. I have lost myself and found myself a thousand times, struggling with my tenuous hold on my own being as my layers continued peeling back. Through illness and pain my healing potential was opened to growth, and through healing, it keeps growing.
I have greeted and said goodbye to family and friends, including a last goodbye to my beautiful cousin Janet, who now comes with me on my travels in my heart. I have visited beautiful places, sacred places, places where the ancient ways live and the places of my ancestors. I have seen both the dark underbellies of many cultures, and the vibrancy of many of the old, and new, ways and traditions. I have lived with communities in many countries, I have become part of these communities. I have explored the alternative fringes in many places, found other ways of being, and discovered worlds and possibilities I never knew or really believed existed. I have met many people working towards a better future, on a journey to a new world.
And I have journeyed inwards as I have journeyed onwards. It has not all been easy, the sailing has not always been smooth, but the lessons have been necessary and I am grateful for what I have learned from all that has happened. I have learnt what it really means that every journey begins with one step, and I have learnt to take that step, and to take that step again, and each time it has been easier and the way forward has been clearer. I have finally found that moving forward doesn't have to be difficult anymore, it can be easy if you allow yourself to feel your way to the path of least resistance instead of heading blindly down every wrong turn when all the signs point the other way.
In the worst moments of my fear I have found trust. I have found myself seeking external approval, and given myself all the approval I need. I have struggled with doubt and found assurance. I have been lost in despair and I have remembered hope. I have come home to myself, I have found my place of inner quiet and stillness, and I have opened my heart to love when I didn't even know that it was closed. I have made deep and lasting connections. I have opened to the flow of sharing. My awareness has opened to new levels and my understanding deepened to new depths. I have opened up to my intuition and I have learnt to access my deepest knowing. I have found fulfilment and confidence, and I have found purpose. I believe in the power of creativity and of the resonance of those working in harmony to find balance in the world. I believe in unlimited possibilities. I believe in a wonderful future. I believe in magic.
And so it has been much more than just a physical journey; it has been a journey across many realms, through many levels of experience. And every step of the way, it has been exactly what I have needed it to be, and so much more.
I am very grateful for being able to have had the time, space, resources I have needed to give myself this time. I could not have done this without the help of many, and I am thankful every day for this. I have had help and support from people close to me, family and friends, and also from strangers, and friends I hadn't yet met. And the more I have trusted, the more help has come to me. It feels like a miracle and it makes my heart buzz with warmth and love and gratitude. I wish for everyone to have what they need just as I have had. Be open to asking, and be open to allowing yourself to receive whatever you need, and it will find its way to you, how it will. Just ask, be open, and trust. Trust is so important. And it should be so easy, but sometimes the easiest things seem to be the most difficult. Sometimes you don't even realise they're difficult because they should be easy, but then when you realise that they are difficult, even though they are easy, well that's often the first step to letting them become as easy as they really can be after all… :-)
May you also always have amazing adventures, wherever you are, and whatever you do. May your life be filled with love, and may you always find what you need to help you move forward in whatever direction you choose, for your highest and greatest good.
With Love,
Liz Wade,
Living Lightly
3 June 2014
"May you also always have amazing adventures, wherever you are, and whatever you do. May your life be filled with love, and may you always find what you need to help you move forward in whatever direction you choose, for your highest and greatest good."
ReplyDeleteAs we travel around on our mending mission it nice to know you are wishing us well, Liz.