Sunday 1 March 2020

Now - Part II and III - Supporting myself, and, Supporting others - Round 1 - The Good Grief Network

Continuing my series on what I am doing now to fully be, to the best of my growing ability and capability, all the pieces of the puzzle that together form my piece of the bigger picture puzzle of what we need to build a better future, today I'm looking at one very important way that I am supporting myself, and also, working to support others.

It is really so very important for us all to always - and especially in these crazy times - make time to look after ourselves; to nurture ourselves so that we can heal and grow, so we can be strong and able and well functioning. Aside from enabling us to be in our best states of wellbeing, this is also a very important part of building the foundations of a caring and compassionate culture.

So amongst the myriad of ways I find to support myself (which I will continue to expand upon) - at least when I remember to, and when I find, or make, the time - a recent endeavour that I have found personally really very supportive in just the right ways on many occasions, was connecting with the Good Grief Network, and taking part in a round of their 10 step program.

I am shortly beginning to run my own groups of this amazing program, in different locations close to me, with the aim to extend that support to others also. Please see my Good Grief Network page for details of upcoming programs, and read on to find out more about my own experience with the program and why I am so glad to be able to share the experience with others.

I first came across the Good Grief Network after the 2019 Federal election in Australia, which in the lead up had been dubbed by some as the "climate election". As it turned out, the climate lost the election, and many people in Australia were thrown into shock, horror, disbelief, anger, fear, grief and despair; myself included. 

For whatever reason I found myself on facebook more than usual following that, perhaps trying to find comfort in the community of shared feelings there, or perhaps in some weird compulsion to try to comprehend what had happened. This then also meant I was confronted by many of the bad news stories posted about the state of the climate, society and the world. And of course the nature of facebook being to reinforce anything that catches your attention by bringing up more of the same, it was all amplified the more I looked. I struggled to keep from overwhelm and paralysis, and connected with others to talk about "what do we do now?" My littles had then recently turned 1 and 3, so I was also starting to peer out, somewhat bleary eyed, from the cave of all consuming baby and toddler, double trouble and double cuddle (hands full both ways!!) motherhood (albeit perhaps still from within the cave of somewhat still fairly all consuming toddler and preschooler double trouble and double cuddle motherhood!).

I've previously written more about that time, so now to focus back to the topic of today… So, in amongst all that, in amongst all the bad news, doom and gloom, I came across an NBC article which described the Good Grief Network program. I immediately flagged this as something I would like to look further into and started telling others about it too. (I actually even took a printed copy of the article into the office of my local Federal (Labor) MP to drop it off with a scrawled note asking for her to take this side of things into consideration as she had been Shadow Health Minister and I hadn't yet twigged she'd changed portfolios, before I later did some upskilling in MP engagement - more on that another day…!) I had recently started studying a Diploma of Counselling, and the Good Grief Network program seemed very complementary to that, and to my long term focus on the issues of our environment, and climate change in particular, and also to my own personal experiences of that point in time, and also previous times when I had become overwhelmed by the immensity of it all.

So before too long, I looked up the Good Grief Network, and I just kept getting more interested the more I looked, so I signed up to take part in an online round of the program. I had also noted with great interest that the program is designed for people to be able to bring it to their local communities and facilitate their own program, and I registered my interest in doing this also.

The experience of taking part in the program is actually remarkably difficult to encapsulate. I think this is perhaps because of its depth and breadth and the real full extent of the value of it, that continues to unfold even after a round of the program is complete. And possibly in equal measure because of the genuine loving and compassionate authenticity of the two wonderful, wise, intelligent, open minded and open hearted people, LaUra Schmidt and Aimee Lewis-Reau, who between them have developed and run the program and its network, along with the amazing variety of participants and facilitators that are also attracted to taking part.

The program is titled "10 Steps to Personal Resilience and Empowerment in a Chaotic Climate," and it runs as a weekly group discussion on the topic, or step, of the week. Each week, in advance of the meeting, a description of the topic of the week, along with a series of quotes and links to further resources in the form of articles, videos, podcasts, poetry and more, are sent out for people to explore to the extent that they like. Each weekly meeting begins with an introductory script, then a round of check ins, then one person from the group reads the description for the week. Each person then has a turn to share their thoughts and feelings, while the group practises active listening to ensure each person feels heard. Then there is time for any additional thoughts and feelings from anyone in the group, before a closing script is read, noting that each person's opinions are their own, and that each person may take what they like and leave the rest, as we all continue to do the work, and meet again for the next step the following week. A round of check outs completes the meeting.

The absolutely well-designed 10 steps are as follows:
Step 1 – Accept the Severity of the Predicament
Step 2 – Acknowledge that I am Part of the Problem and Solutions
Step 3 – Practice Being with Uncertainty
Step 4 – Honour My Own Mortality and the Mortality of All
Step 5 – Do Inner Work
Step 6 – Develop Awareness of Brain Patterns and Perception
Step 7 – Practice Gratitude
Step 8 – Take Breaks and Rest
Step 9 – Show Up
Step 10 – Reinvest into Meaningful Efforts

Aside from the program structure and content, which is so well thought out and considered and developed, I think a lot of the power of the program is also in its form as a group discussion program. Recently I attended a panel discussion organised by the Melbourne group Psychology for a Safe Climate, on "Meeting the emotional challenges of facing the climate emergency", which reinforced for me the importance of us allowing ourselves the time and space to acknowledge the big and heavy feelings all of this brings up, and also the importance of doing this in community. And how doing this enables us to keep going, to keep taking care of ourselves and others, and to keep working forward to a better future. Dr Sally Gillespie from the Sydney group the Climate Wellbeing Network also spoke about her work with groups, and how discussing these things in groups leads to others in the group putting words to our own thoughts, feelings and experiences that we perhaps haven't found words for yet. When she said that, I thought "yes!" because that is exactly what I have told people about my experience taking part in the Good Grief Network program last year.

My feeling is that each person might take something different from the program, as each person may need something different from it, but everyone will feel the value of joining a community and sharing all the heavy emotions and thoughts that can be such a burden to hold alone.

For me, since taking part in the program, I notice a definite sense of how the program has contributed to my resilience (which was much needed!) and my empowerment (also needed!), and also my ability to stay connected to my heart and to work from a place of inner strength and peace while acknowledging the despair, grief or fear that still rear time to time, because the reality is not going away just yet. I notice my ability to take action has increased and I feel the connection between my actions and hope and hope and my actions, even when hope isn't always easy to find. I also notice how all this has the feeling of a process that is ongoing. I notice when it is time for me to take a break more easily, and I give myself the space and time for that. I can better allow the big feelings when they come up and I can sit with them with more mindfulness and self-compassion. I can keep working to better myself and change my habits and actions without berating myself for not being perfect already. I find perhaps sometimes strange comfort in different steps at different moments. I have learnt so much I can't explain it all right here right now, but it enriches and informs my life and my work ongoing, without a doubt.

I am greatly looking forward to running, and taking part in my own groups starting soon, as I know that joining with a new group undertaking the process of moving through the steps of the program will help me also to continue to grow and develop and learn and to become still stronger, and I am just so excited to be able to bring this to others too. I remain connected with the people from my online group last year, and I am looking forward to connecting with people closer to home in my own groups. And on we go. Growing, learning together, supporting each other and building resilient and empowered communities as we each become more resilient and empowered.


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