Now - All the parts - Responding to Emergencies; Let’s Breathe, and Connect; and Let's Remember - We have Will, Power, Agency, Voices and Choices

This next part in my Now series really covers all the parts...

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I was kindly invited by the young people of the Ballarat Action Climate Co-op to speak at their Climate Fair on 21 March 2020. I was really looking forward to speaking, though also nervous because I have never spoken in front of a large group of people before.

And then everything in the world was cancelled because of the coronavirus pandemic.

So I thought I would make a video instead, another thing I have never done before, to share what I was going to speak about (and more), because these times call for us all to step out of our comfort zone and into the growth zone.

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I made the video in parts (Part 1 is the above!). I was asked to speak at the Climate Fair as a representative of the Ballarat Climate Action Network, about the imminent Victorian Government decision regarding Emissions Reduction Targets, and I was scheduled to speak for around 5 minutes. Of course I got a little carried away while making videos instead... So if you’re struggling at this time of emergencies on top of emergencies on top of emergencies, check out Part 4 - Let’s Breathe, and get in touch if you'd like ideas for further support (I will be writing more on this too). If you are in Victoria, check out how you can make your voice count right now by watching Part 5 about the Victorian Emissions Reduction Targets. My favourite video is probably the last one, so please check that one out. (Also, an aside... I've been meaning for ages to write a piece called Embrace Your Face, focussing in mostly on how I learned to love every single one of my wrinkles, and associated wider associations around this. I will get to that one day, but meanwhile, having watched myself on these videos, I now see how I created my awesome wrinkles! If you have no better reason to watch these videos, watch them just to check out my forehead in action. It speaks its own language! Especially in the last video where all my emotions come in.)

If you prefer reading to videos, skip to the bottom for transcripts. But the last part needs watching for the special extra at the end (listen for little person cuteness plus check out my absolute lack of technical ability - here's to doing it anyway).

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Videos

Part 1 - Intro (as written above)

 

See: Ballarat Action Climate Co-op

Part 2 - Representing

See: Ballarat Climate Action Network (or facebook)

Hepburn Relocalisation Network (or facebook)

You Tell Our Kids

Part 3 - Emergencies

Part 4 - Let's Breathe

See: Australian Psychological Society
Psychology for a Safe Climate
Good Grief Network 
Info about Good Grief Groups I am running locally (for now online)

Part 5 - Victorian Emissions Reduction Targets

See: Ballarat Climate Action Network (or facebook)
Act on Climate Vic (or facebook)
Environment Victoria info graphic comparing 1.5°C and 2°C of warming
Article in The Courier

Part 6a - Que Sera, Sera

(Note re Que Sera: Oops! I checked the original words belatedly and I got it wrong in the video. The original first verse words are 'Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?' and the third verse words are 'Will I be handsome? Will I be rich?' Some other minor differences, but same story still applies anyway...!)
See: How social 'tipping points' could limit global warming
Joel Pett's Climate Summit cartoon

Part 6b - Que Sera, Sera - What Will We Will Into Being?

See: The World As We Know It Is Ending - So Now What?

See also the very bottom of this post for an addition to the image that I didn't manage to magically animate into the above video with accompanying soundtrack. Also a pic of my ridiculous technology set up used to make this last video, just for a laugh at my ineptitude... :-) (You might need to turn up the volume...)

Transcripts

Part 2 - Representing

I am a representative of the Ballarat Climate Action Network and I will be speaking today about the upcoming Victorian Government decision regarding the Emissions Reduction Targets for 2025 and 2030. I will also talk about further action for climate, and action generally that is good for our future, particularly within this current situation.

I thought I would wear a t shirt from my days working with the Hepburn Relocalisation Network around a decade ago, because Relocalisation is one of the key things that the world really needs, right now. Relocalisation is all about the many ways to build connected and resilient local communities and systems that support everyday life in a wonderful way, and that are strong in the face of any emergency. What better to put efforts towards right now. Look up the Hepburn Relocalisation Network to find out more about the many diverse things that are part of this. 

I also represent Living Lightly With Love, my very own organisation, so named because that’s what I aim to do, to share, to be, and to bring more of into the world, day by day, to the best of my ever growing abilities, in everything that I do, from my personal choices, to my life work, to my climate activism.

And, as a mum of small children, almost 2 and almost 4 years old, I represent them also, and I have also joined a movement of mothers called You Tell Our Kids.

Part III - Emergencies

So here we are, in a climate emergency, with a pandemic emergency thrown in on top of it, just as we are at the very beginning of the recovery from an unprecedented summer of bushfire emergencies. It is worth noting, at this point, that while this pandemic has not been caused by the climate crisis (though it's possibly true to say it has been exacerbated by a globalisation crisis), the science says that just as climate change will cause, or rather is already causing, an increase in the frequency and severity of bushfires, so too will it cause an increase in deadly disease outbreaks and pandemics. So with that in mind, why don't we do our all to reverse this right now, by working back to the causal factors, and meanwhile working to build stronger and more resilient communities and systems. The good news is we have already loads of ideas out there about how to do all this, all we need to do is get on with it. With gusto.

Part IV - Let’s Breathe

Let’s start with a deep, slow breath in, and a long, slow breath out.

When our bodies respond physiologically to emergencies, our system gets flooded with cortisol and adrenaline, and our brains start to work differently. When we are faced with an immediate threat, this is what helps us to fight, or to flee. But when the threat is longer term, or more distant, it's important to take the time to calm our nervous systems, however we can, so that our bodies don't burn out, and so that we can think more clearly. Spending time in nature, relaxing, meditating, practising mindfulness - particularly with self-compassion, having a laugh with our friends and families, having a dance, playing some music. Whatever allows us to slow down the sense of panic and reduce the feelings of overwhelm, and allow us to think more clearly about what to do right now, and the steps to take towards the future. On this note, there are many resources on the internet to aid us in dealing with and responding to our emotional reactions to these emergencies. The Australian Psychological Society, Psychology for a Safe Climate and the Good Grief Network, to list just a few places to find these resources. I am also running local (now online) Good Grief Groups, so get in touch if you would like to find out more. This work is important.

So let’s take another little pause. Release the tension in your bodies, let your shoulders drop away from your ears, wriggle around a little bit, whatever feels good. You can also think of something in your life or in the world that brings you joy, peace or calm and focus on that with a sense of deep gratitude. And let's breathe, deep and slow.

So now let's try to keep our brains set to using our control centres, instead of just our panic stations. And remember to keep returning to practices that help you restore calm, as needed. Take time to relax, enjoy nature, meditate, dance, play and laugh, in amongst all the craziness. And remember that the more you practice, the easier this becomes.

Part V - Victorian Emissions Reduction Targets (ERTs)

Now let’s focus in, on one key thing that is happening right now, in the world of climate action, right here, in Victoria. Despite all that is going on in the world right now, in each of our lives right now; amongst the chaos, this is important.

The Victorian Government is currently in the final days of deciding Emissions Reduction Targets for 2025 and 2030, towards reaching the target of net zero greenhouse gas emissions already legislated for 2050. Check out ballaratclimate.com or go to Ballarat Climate Action Network on facebook, to find out more of the details on this, and, most importantly, how you can help. It is important that the Victorian Government hears from us at this time, that they know that we are still watching, listening and waiting for this decision. It is important that they know that we want our government to set strong, bold and ambitious targets, in line with the best science and in line with keeping global warming to less than 1.5 degrees C. This is crucial to ensure a safer future for all.

We need to be clear with the Government that targets in line with keeping warming to 2 degrees are not enough. According to the 2008 Garnaut review, by 2050 the irrigated agricultural output from the Murray Darling Basin would be halved, and by the end of the century the Basin would no longer be home to agriculture – this is a clear indicator that our food security would be seriously impacted. 2 degrees also means no more Great Barrier Reef. Environment Victoria has a very clear info graphic comparing the impacts of 1.5°C and 2°C, including the loss of plant and insect species, extreme heat exposure and the disappearance of Arctic sea-ice. Here in Australia we are already seeing unprecedented bushfires; droughts and floods will only increase. Pandemics will increase. The next decade is crucial. These 2025 and 2030 targets are crucial. We must do all we can to mitigate the greater, more all-pervasive, dangerous and deadly emergency that is the climate emergency.

At the start of March Ballarat Climate Action Network sent out a call to our community, asking for support for climate action. We received rapid responses from local community leaders, the Ballarat Regional Trades and Labour Council, and environmental groups, who were all keen to broadcast their support for targets in line with keeping warming to less than 1.5°C. We have sent the statement of community support, along with a letter urging action, to the Premier Daniel Andrews, the Minister for Climate Change, Environment and Energy, Lily D’Ambrosio and to our local Members of Parliament. 

The Courier reported on the support of the Ballarat region for ambitious targets, referencing this statement, and also the support of local state MPs Michaela Settle and Juliana Addison, who after meeting with local community members, have committed to “lead the drive for less than 1.5°C.” The Courier report also included comments in support of 1.5°C targets from Cr Belinda Coates, Deputy Mayor of Ballarat, who also referred to council support for strong targets across Victoria.

It is imperative that the Government knows the Victorian people are watching, and that the community calls for ambitious targets that will build on the climate leadership the Victorian Government has previously shown and drive the action that is needed for a safer climate. They need to know that we want less emissions, not more; that we want them to restore the ban on gas drilling recently lifted; that we need all movement away from fossil fuels and towards cleaner sources of energy; and changes in systems to work towards limiting warming to less than 1.5°C. Let the Government hear your voice by calling or writing to the Premier and Minister Lily D’Ambrosio. Let them know the Ballarat region wants Climate Action Now! Go to ballaratclimate.com for all the info on how to do this. Thank you.

(See also Act on Climate Vic, or facebook.)

Part VI - Que Sera

To continue, if you'll indulge me by listening a little longer, a personal story.

As I said earlier, I’m a mum of two small children, who are almost 2 and almost 4 years old. In the year 2050, they will turn 32 and 34, and I will turn 71. I have long been concerned about the destruction of our natural world – the extinction of species, the loss of wilderness, the changing climate… All this has caused me much grief and despair over the years. But to be honest, I don't think I ever thought that it would come to this, to this point at which we now find ourselves. And it is hard sometimes not to feel frightened, even terrified at the lack of wider action going on. For me, the truth dawned slowly, then more rapidly, as I learned more about our situation around a decade ago, and at that time it hit me hard. Since then I have worked hard to keep building my personal resilience, alongside continuing to do the work that I can do towards the change we need for a better future.

Meanwhile, most nights, I sing to my little girls, and one of the songs I usually sing is Que Sera, because my mum sang it to me when I was small. Perhaps you know the song.

The first verse and chorus usually runs:

When I was just a little girl,

I asked my mother ‘What will I be?’

Will I be famous? Will I be rich?’

Here’s what she said to me.

‘Que sera, sera

Whatever will be, will be

The future’s not ours to see

Que sera, sera.’

(Note: I belatedly checked and oops, the first verse words are usually 'Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?' Same story applies anyway... See below)

In the second verse, the little girl grows up, falls in love, and asks her sweetheart ‘What lies ahead? Will there be rainbows, day after day?’ I've actually decided to sing about rainbows for all three verses, because being rich or famous doesn’t matter to me, but rainbows are one of Nature’s miracles, and the rain and sunshine that make them happen are two of the miraculous elements of Nature that make Life on Earth possible, and these elements are what we truly must hold sacred.

The Que sera clincher comes in verse 3. Some weeks I read a lot of stories that help me hold some hope for the future. Good news stories about action that is happening, decisions that have been made; sometimes ironic reductions in emissions due to pandemics; ways we can make change happen for a better future; the social tipping points - that we are actually very close to - such as revealing the morally harmful nature of fossil fuels, and divesting from those fossil fuels, that could work together, to actually limit warming... Other weeks I read too much of the science about what will happen if we don’t make changes, massive changes, urgently, right now; or about what is already happening, now, no matter what we do. And in those weeks, when I sing the third verse to my little girls, it makes me cry. Because we have already lost so much. All the species that have gone extinct. Forests burned that will not regenerate because they already suffered die off from drought and temperature increases. And that's just the beginning.

Now I have children of my own

They ask their mother

‘What lies ahead?’…

But. 

The chorus continues, like the first verses…

Que sera, sera

Whatever will be, will be

But.

It is not just “Que sera, sera. What will be, will be.”

Because we have will. We have power. We have agency. We have our voices. And we have choices.

And we can choose change. We can choose the change we want. And we can use our voices, our agency, our power, and our will, to make it happen.

I read some wise words about change about 7 years ago, when I was going through a lot of internal, personal change, and these words have stuck with me as important words to remember.

"Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up."

And right now what we have to gain is absolutely everything.

Like my favourite climate cartoon by Joel Pett. Set at a Climate Summit, an audience member asks “What if it’s a big hoax and we create a better world for nothing?” while on screen a list includes just some of the things that we have to gain:

-       Energy independence

-       Preserve rainforests

-       Sustainability

-       Green jobs

-       Livable cities

-       Renewables

-       Clean water, and air

-       Healthy children

-       Etc. etc.

It’s not all gone, yet.

But we have to make this happen.

And that’s maybe a little scary too. Because it means letting go of elements of the life we have now, and the future we thought we were going to have, and stepping into the unknown. Stepping out of our comfort zones and into our growth zones.

But if we give ourselves a push, ask for help if we need it, and take that first step, the whole world opens up and becomes brighter.

We connect to our deeper, better, higher selves – strong and vulnerable, afraid and courageous, always learning what it is we do not yet know, and finding at the same time what we have always truly known already.

We find strong, deeper connections with our communities, and with the whole world around us.

We work with our passions, following our hearts and our souls and living our dreams. All for the highest and greatest good of all.

We have work to do, and together we can do it. 

So remember:

You have will; you have power; you have agency. You have choice, and you have your voice. 

Say it with me:
I have will. I have power. I have agency. I have choice. And I have my voice.

Let’s make our choices consciously and intentionally, and let our voices be heard. Let’s build this new world together.

Thank you. Thanks for listening. (Or reading!)

So, you can see how, ultimately, all the parts I'm working on, came into this story...! And I'm just going to keep writing more about all of these parts as I go. As on we go, from Now, to the Future, growing all that is Good! Together.

And in celebration of my amazing technological solutions... The set up I used to make the last video, plus my phone not pictured because I was using it to take the picture, but which also recorded the original sound - at bedtime - which I transferred to my computer to play through the old stereo so I could record it as a soundtrack while videoing my picture of 'How Now to the Future?' It didn't come out exactly as it was in my mind somehow. I know, it's a surprise considering my amazing set up. But the essence is there anyway...

Now - Part II and III - Supporting myself, and, Supporting others - Round 1 - The Good Grief Network

Continuing my series on what I am doing now to fully be, to the best of my growing ability and capability, all the pieces of the puzzle that together form my piece of the bigger picture puzzle of what we need to build a better future, today I'm looking at one very important way that I am supporting myself, and also, working to support others.

It is really so very important for us all to always - and especially in these crazy times - make time to look after ourselves; to nurture ourselves so that we can heal and grow, so we can be strong and able and well functioning. Aside from enabling us to be in our best states of wellbeing, this is also a very important part of building the foundations of a caring and compassionate culture.

So amongst the myriad of ways I find to support myself (which I will continue to expand upon) - at least when I remember to, and when I find, or make, the time - a recent endeavour that I have found personally really very supportive in just the right ways on many occasions, was connecting with the Good Grief Network, and taking part in a round of their 10 step program.

I am shortly beginning to run my own groups of this amazing program, in different locations close to me, with the aim to extend that support to others also. Please see my Good Grief Network page for details of upcoming programs, and read on to find out more about my own experience with the program and why I am so glad to be able to share the experience with others.

I first came across the Good Grief Network after the 2019 Federal election in Australia, which in the lead up had been dubbed by some as the "climate election". As it turned out, the climate lost the election, and many people in Australia were thrown into shock, horror, disbelief, anger, fear, grief and despair; myself included. 

For whatever reason I found myself on facebook more than usual following that, perhaps trying to find comfort in the community of shared feelings there, or perhaps in some weird compulsion to try to comprehend what had happened. This then also meant I was confronted by many of the bad news stories posted about the state of the climate, society and the world. And of course the nature of facebook being to reinforce anything that catches your attention by bringing up more of the same, it was all amplified the more I looked. I struggled to keep from overwhelm and paralysis, and connected with others to talk about "what do we do now?" My littles had then recently turned 1 and 3, so I was also starting to peer out, somewhat bleary eyed, from the cave of all consuming baby and toddler, double trouble and double cuddle (hands full both ways!!) motherhood (albeit perhaps still from within the cave of somewhat still fairly all consuming toddler and preschooler double trouble and double cuddle motherhood!).

I've previously written more about that time, so now to focus back to the topic of today… So, in amongst all that, in amongst all the bad news, doom and gloom, I came across an NBC article which described the Good Grief Network program. I immediately flagged this as something I would like to look further into and started telling others about it too. (I actually even took a printed copy of the article into the office of my local Federal (Labor) MP to drop it off with a scrawled note asking for her to take this side of things into consideration as she had been Shadow Health Minister and I hadn't yet twigged she'd changed portfolios, before I later did some upskilling in MP engagement - more on that another day…!) I had recently started studying a Diploma of Counselling, and the Good Grief Network program seemed very complementary to that, and to my long term focus on the issues of our environment, and climate change in particular, and also to my own personal experiences of that point in time, and also previous times when I had become overwhelmed by the immensity of it all.

So before too long, I looked up the Good Grief Network, and I just kept getting more interested the more I looked, so I signed up to take part in an online round of the program. I had also noted with great interest that the program is designed for people to be able to bring it to their local communities and facilitate their own program, and I registered my interest in doing this also.

The experience of taking part in the program is actually remarkably difficult to encapsulate. I think this is perhaps because of its depth and breadth and the real full extent of the value of it, that continues to unfold even after a round of the program is complete. And possibly in equal measure because of the genuine loving and compassionate authenticity of the two wonderful, wise, intelligent, open minded and open hearted people, LaUra Schmidt and Aimee Lewis-Reau, who between them have developed and run the program and its network, along with the amazing variety of participants and facilitators that are also attracted to taking part.

The program is titled "10 Steps to Personal Resilience and Empowerment in a Chaotic Climate," and it runs as a weekly group discussion on the topic, or step, of the week. Each week, in advance of the meeting, a description of the topic of the week, along with a series of quotes and links to further resources in the form of articles, videos, podcasts, poetry and more, are sent out for people to explore to the extent that they like. Each weekly meeting begins with an introductory script, then a round of check ins, then one person from the group reads the description for the week. Each person then has a turn to share their thoughts and feelings, while the group practises active listening to ensure each person feels heard. Then there is time for any additional thoughts and feelings from anyone in the group, before a closing script is read, noting that each person's opinions are their own, and that each person may take what they like and leave the rest, as we all continue to do the work, and meet again for the next step the following week. A round of check outs completes the meeting.

The absolutely well-designed 10 steps are as follows:

Step 1 – Accept the Severity of the Predicament

Step 2 – Acknowledge that I am Part of the Problem and Solutions

Step 3 – Practice Being with Uncertainty

Step 4 – Honour My Own Mortality and the Mortality of All

Step 5 – Do Inner Work

Step 6 – Develop Awareness of Brain Patterns and Perception

Step 7 – Practice Gratitude

Step 8 – Take Breaks and Rest

Step 9 – Show Up

Step 10 – Reinvest into Meaningful Efforts

Aside from the program structure and content, which is so well thought out and considered and developed, I think a lot of the power of the program is also in its form as a group discussion program. Recently I attended a panel discussion organised by the Melbourne group Psychology for a Safe Climate, on "Meeting the emotional challenges of facing the climate emergency", which reinforced for me the importance of us allowing ourselves the time and space to acknowledge the big and heavy feelings all of this brings up, and also the importance of doing this in community. And how doing this enables us to keep going, to keep taking care of ourselves and others, and to keep working forward to a better future. Dr Sally Gillespie from the Sydney group the Climate Wellbeing Network also spoke about her work with groups, and how discussing these things in groups leads to others in the group putting words to our own thoughts, feelings and experiences that we perhaps haven't found words for yet. When she said that, I thought "yes!" because that is exactly what I have told people about my experience taking part in the Good Grief Network program last year.

My feeling is that each person might take something different from the program, as each person may need something different from it, but everyone will feel the value of joining a community and sharing all the heavy emotions and thoughts that can be such a burden to hold alone.

For me, since taking part in the program, I notice a definite sense of how the program has contributed to my resilience (which was much needed!) and my empowerment (also needed!), and also my ability to stay connected to my heart and to work from a place of inner strength and peace while acknowledging the despair, grief or fear that still rear time to time, because the reality is not going away just yet. I notice my ability to take action has increased and I feel the connection between my actions and hope and hope and my actions, even when hope isn't always easy to find. I also notice how all this has the feeling of a process that is ongoing. I notice when it is time for me to take a break more easily, and I give myself the space and time for that. I can better allow the big feelings when they come up and I can sit with them with more mindfulness and self-compassion. I can keep working to better myself and change my habits and actions without berating myself for not being perfect already. I find perhaps sometimes strange comfort in different steps at different moments. I have learnt so much I can't explain it all right here right now, but it enriches and informs my life and my work ongoing, without a doubt.

I am greatly looking forward to running, and taking part in my own groups starting soon, as I know that joining with a new group undertaking the process of moving through the steps of the program will help me also to continue to grow and develop and learn and to become still stronger, and I am just so excited to be able to bring this to others too. I remain connected with the people from my online group last year, and I am looking forward to connecting with people closer to home in my own groups. And on we go. Growing, learning together, supporting each other and building resilient and empowered communities as we each become more resilient and empowered.

Good Grief Network programs coming up! (Keeping up with modern technology... sigh...)

So after a bit of a mission getting everything together that took a bit longer than I anticipated, I have just made and printed flyers for my upcoming Good Grief Network program that will be running very soon in Ballarat, and I belatedly worked out I put the wrong web address on them for the page here with further information...

If you have come looking for the page, I'm sorry for the error and please see here! And please bear with my inability to keep up with all the details of modern technology.

See also the event information on facebook on my page here. Another mission of technology achievement in my books! haha

Stay tuned for my upcoming post about my own experience taking part in an online round of the program last year.

Now - Part I - Holding the vision - Round 1

Following on from my last post - my summary run down of all the pieces of how I choose to work forward from now to a better future, in the ways that work for me - I'm expanding now on the first piece - Holding the vision. I could write much more on this, and I will, but for now I want to get on and share this, so I'll attempt to keep it short(er)! So for now I have one visioning to share that I find very helpful, and important, and just a little accompanying explanation, for now.

All that is good, growing

Listen or download my recording of All that is good, growing, on Soundcloud.

This visioning had its origin back in 2014, one night in the magical town of Glastonbury, as I walked along roads near the Tor, back towards my temporary home at Paddington Farm. As I walked, in the dark, I had a moment in which a kind of vision, or maybe a sense or a feeling, came to me. I almost saw it, glowing in the air before me, and I felt it, right through me. It was like hope manifested, and it was powerful and strong. Since then, many times, I have returned to this same vision or feeling.

I find that holding this vision, bringing my focus, and intention, to this vision, helps me to keep on course, to keep going, to keep working on the things that matter most, as we head towards the future. I also find it helps in the tougher moments, when despair, fear or anger rear and hope seems harder to find. 

It was hard to put the full sense of the vision or feeling into words but I've been wanting to share it, and I keep trying to explain it, so I've done my best to capture it. My hope for sharing is that it could also be helpful for others to listen -  hopefully that amazing powerful feeling it gives me translates. Or maybe it can also help others find or strengthen their own personal version of a similar kind of thing, to hold for focus, intention and direction, especially in those moments when the way seems hard to find. The vision, sense or feeling is more important than the words anyway, if that makes any sense.

You might already have your own visions that you hold, I would love to know about them if you would like to share. Or perhaps you have a stirring, waiting for full attention. I encourage you to allow space and time to nurture your visions to grow. I found it helpful when I explained my vision to someone last year and they suggested I try to hold that space every day. So now I am making extra effort to try to come back to it as much as I can. The more the better really!

So I hope that you might find it of value too. And please also enjoy the live and unorchestrated accompaniment by at least two kinds of frogs that live in our dam, further down the hill from where I sat, under my favourite big old eucalyptus tree, in the wee hours of the night, as I recorded. Listen close and you may hear other visitors, though some missed out on making it to the final recording - like the roaring koalas that made themselves heard several times. There was also a bird of some kind calling  - perhaps an owl; another larger animal - maybe one of the koalas or possibly a kangaroo - moving about quite close to me, almost as if they were listening; and some different insects, piping in with their sounds, their movements and even their presence on my page as I read.

Last, but by no means least, there are many reasons for the timing of sharing this, and I will return more to this topic of timing later in a general sense, but meanwhile there is one aspect of the timing that must be acknowledged.

I recorded this yesterday, on 26 January, a very sad and difficult day for many people of Australia. 

These words about 26 January are from Lidia Thorpe, a Gunnai/Gunditjmara woman and Indigenous Rights Lead for Amnesty International Australia, sent via the Amnesty International email list, to raise awareness and share details of Invasion Day Marches and Rallies. I felt it better to share Lidia's words directly rather than explain it in my own.

"While many Australians celebrate 26 January as Australia Day, for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples it is a day of resistance, mourning, and truth telling. This day, which marks the landing of the first fleet, also signifies dispossession of my land, people, language and culture. 

"Our history goes back well beyond 26 January 1788. It began over 80,000 years ago. Let’s stand in solidarity this Invasion Day to respectfully mourn the survival and resilience of the oldest living culture in the world. Let’s acknowledge that Aboriginal nations are Sovereign nations who never signed a Treaty and are united in the ongoing fight for our rights.

"We encourage you to attend Indigenous events on and around 26 January. We have created a national list of events so you can find one near you.

"We all want to be part of a nation which we can celebrate and be proud of, but that starts with addressing the trauma of colonisation and its impact today. 

"With your support, we will continue to change and mature into a more inclusive nation."

And as one sign of all that is good, growing, attendance at Invasion Day rallies and marches grows every year - Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people and other Australian people, standing together in acknowledgement of the true history of this day.

And at this time in history, the voices of First Nation people from around the world are ringing clear and strong, with all that is good, and growing; calling for respect and recognition of the long history of their cultures and connection with their lands, their Countries; calling for protection of the land and environment for all. 

And so, in solidarity, I would like to respectfully dedicate this visioning that I am sharing, of all that is good, growing, to the Wathaurung people of the land on which I live, and to all First Nation people of this continent on which I live, and to First Nation people of all the lands of our world.

And on we go, together. All that is good, growing.

All that is good, growing

Listen or download my recording of All that is good, growing, on Soundcloud.

Prelude to Now - Part II - The World As We Know It Is Ending - So Now What?

In these uncertain times, it is more important than ever that we live consciously, intentionally and truthfully - with integrity and authenticity; with mindfulness, awareness, openness; and willingness to reflect, consider, grow, change, flex and adapt. We must make choices from our hearts, and listen, think, act, speak and share with care, compassion, connection, and love, always love. All to the best of our ever growing abilities. Despite all that we cannot know, all that we do not yet know, and all that we do know; despite our challenges, our fear, our pain, our grief; we can choose our way forward, and on we go.

So for me, having previously fallen under the weight of it all, and reaching a crisis point again, I knew I had to take care of myself in these tumultuous tide turning times, and flow with the waves instead of resisting, fighting, and floundering. So this time I used both old - perhaps forgotten, and now remembered - and new - gathered, learnt, practised - resources, skills and knowledge, to stop myself falling so hard. This doesn't mean it has been easy. But it means I do now know what I can do, what I need to do, what I have to do, what I must do, to support myself and to work always onward, forward, upwards, towards the new world I can see in my vision. The new world that follows the world that is ending, the world as we know it.

Each part of this picture is big. Complex and detailed and wonderful. So here I will start with a list of some of the pieces of this puzzle. And I will follow this post with more in depth exploration of these important pieces that together support me as I work forward in the way that works for me, as I play the role of my piece in the bigger picture puzzle. Each of us is a piece in this puzzle, each of us has a role to play, and it is so important that we all step up to and into these roles. We must find the ways that resonate with our hearts, our souls, our spirits, our minds, our bodies, our visions and our dreams of all that is good, and work forward humming with that resonance. We work forward toward all that is wonderful and amazing, all that is sustaining and nurturing and creative, and powerful - in a truly, deeply powerful way. Not easy, but very necessary.

And so, here follows an ever growing and expanding list of all the pieces of the puzzle that is my piece of the bigger picture puzzle...

Holding the vision - though no one can say what the future will hold, we can all harness the power of our will by holding the vision of all that is good, growing. This way anything can be possible, and magic can happen. We are releasing all that no longer serves; and all that is good is growing. The tide is turning. The groundswell is building. We are returning to our deepest knowing, reclaiming our power, and reconnecting - reconnecting to our hearts, and souls, to spirit, to each other, to all that is. We are remembering, we are reimagining, we are regenerating. All that is good, is growing. 

Supporting myself - in oh so many ways. Supporting myself with various personal practices, and seeking support from others - those around me, my village, my tribe, a wider community of connections growing, and also professionals of various kinds, as required - be it a massage, Shiatsu or Reiki treatment, Chinese medicine, a counsellor or something less easily defined, there are many people out there with the role, the skills and knowledge to help healing and support people through testing times. Also, of particular note, this year I discovered a wonderful growing network called the Good Grief Network, and with them, I worked through an online group support program of 10 steps, designed to support us through the big feelings - despair, anxiety, overwhelm, confusion... and uncertainty of these times... and to share understanding and tools that provide resilience, enable us to continue on, and empower us to keep moving forward and contributing in meaningful, fulfilling and sustaining ways.

Creating change - personal change. We now find ourselves in a world where it is not always easy to live within the bounds of our finite planet and its limited resources. It is not easy to know what is the right thing to do, let alone how to do it. It is not always easy to live in real, true, deep connection, even with ourselves, let alone with each other, our work, our communities and our environment. But we must do our absolute best and just keep on trying. We all start from wherever we are, and from there we can only move forward. It's not always a simple step wise process, we can have our ups and downs along the way, but we can always keep trying, keep learning and keep growing our knowledge, our understanding, our skills and resources. And we can keep sharing and supporting each other in this along the way. And where individual change is the hardest, that is where we need to work for bigger change, where we need to step up as citizens and work to create community change, system change. So on that note...

Supporting others and connecting with others - I will soon be starting to facilitate Good Grief Groups in my own area, to support others, just as this program continues to support me. Also my aim as a healing helper, in my work in general, is to support others in whatever they need, and to support us all, including myself, to live ever more in our hearts, in deepening connection with our selves, and our souls, with each other in community, and with all of Nature and the Universe of which we are so privileged to be a part. More connection, more love, and more living lightly in every way.

Supporting community and growing change more - So many ways to do this! Yay! We are never alone! Lately I have been volunteering each month at the Ballarat Repair Cafe - since it started back in July - as part of a team of volunteers mending people's things, and growing the culture of repair, and respect for resources while actually, right there, on the day, saving resources from going to waste and allowing them to continue to be used. I have also this year started managing the Ballarat Cloth Nappy Library, and along with a wonderful team of local helpers and a wider network growing, the aim is to grow the library and continue to inspire, encourage and support more and more parents to use cloth nappies, again reducing waste and saving resources, and meanwhile building a village and network of support for parents generally, as those first few years of the nappy days can be so crucial in so many ways. Tonight I also did my first shift in a long while at the Wholefoods Collective, part of the conditions of membership that I haven't been keeping up with as well as I might have in these years with small children. Soon to be remedied as I become more available!! It was nourishing tonight to be on the other side, not just filling my own containers, but doing my time - refilling stock, washing dishes, tubs and buckets, answering questions... and meanwhile enjoying the company of community committed to ethical food choices.

Working for even bigger change - I've been signing petitions and sending form emails as they come up, for whatever they're worth, and after attending the global School Climate Strike in September and so far two Ballarat Climate Action Network meetings and a recent BREAZE Green Drinks I will continue showing up to strikes, marches, rallies, actions, meetings and gatherings when I can and when they feel an effective use of my time. I will also continue connecting in with groups and networks and doing further deeper work as much as I can. Currently in the mix as specific ongoing projects - following a webinar with Friends of the Earth Melbourne's Act on Climate I have begun work lobbying Victorian Labor MPs, by writing letters and arranging and attending meetings, to set strong, science-based emissions reduction targets for 2025 and 2030, as we head for the legislated zero net emissions by 2050 - as fast as possible!!! Growing connections and sharing learnings around this work too. And also, after emailing the Premier, various Ministers, and VicRoads and then Major Roads Projects Victoria, as directed by the Djap Wurrung embassy, with the aim of supporting the protection of sacred Djap Wurrung birthing trees, other trees and land threatened by the planned duplication of the highway, I followed the train of insufficient responses to the point of a complaint to the Office of the Victorian Ombudsman, which along with other complaints submitted has led the Ombudsman herself to pursue her 'own motion' inquiries into the processes. Both these lines of work have required me to step out of my comfort zone and extend myself. I have felt deeply nervous doing this, but it just goes to show that it is possible for each of our voices to have an impact. And so we must continue to speak our truths and do our work for change. Engaged and activated!

Living in a new paradigm - Lastly on system change, I believe in living the world we want to create as much as we can. Be the change we want to see! A phrase I have previously used to encapsulate my disengagement, as much as I possibly can, with capitalism and the culture of growth at any cost, is: "Minimising my participation in the economy of false costs and values." I mention this because this is an important key at the heart of it. This system we find ourselves enmeshed in must change, in so many ways. It can only collapse, and the ways that replace it will bring more than we ever will lose by its destruction. So, briefly and simply, what I mean by that, in part at least, is reducing to a minimum all unnecessary consumption, avoiding mass media and advertising as much as I can, choosing to step off the treadmill of worthless work for worthless money; and instead prioritising all that is vibrant and glowing, heart warming and growing - supporting, being, becoming - all that is local, self-sufficient, and community oriented - sharing, caring, giving, receiving, growing and creating. And also holding strong to truth - stripping away all falsehoods and manipulations and just holding true to the essence of what matters most. The changes that we are going through are deep and complex and all encompassing, while at the same time really it's a stripping away of all that is obfuscatingly complicated, back to the simple and clear essence of all that really truly matters. There is no area of our way of life that will remain unaffected. So we can dream our wildest dreams, imagine that all that we ever dared hope for really is possible - anything is possible! - and we can live on into the future as we become even more than our wildest dreams and greatest hopes, beyond all imagining! 

Learning for the new paradigm - And always I aim to keep learning new skills and new knowledge for a new world in a new future. The possibilities are endless! We can upskill ourselves in so many wonderful, interesting, and important, ways! We can learn like sponges - both intentionally, and incidentally along the way; through courses, workshops, reading, research; and by talking, discussing, asking, and observing. It's hard to list what I've been learning lately as there is so much every single day, but I suppose as ongoing themes I've been focussing on learning about various aspects to do with parenting - through courses and also reading - and also communication and relationships more generally - all skills and knowledge that I believe is vital to our future; also I've had some focus on food, cooking, gardening, growing, seed saving… mostly practical and experimental but also courses and reading; and of course my Reiki and Counselling studies - for now I've been taking a bit of a break with the Diploma of Counselling, but keen to get back to it in the new year, and meanwhile I completed my year of mentorship for Level III Reiki and I am now a Reiki Master, qualified to teach Reiki and share it onwards with others - yay! And, all of the above! Every other area above is an area where I am learning. Mending skills, and mending possibilities, at the Repair Cafe; reading about mindfulness and self-compassion and also many articles as part of the Good Grief Network in aid of learning how better to support myself, and others. Also learning more about the complexity of the issues faced by Aboriginal people, and also, in particular, reading about the appropriate language to use in this context, and learning more about local Aboriginal Wadawurrung history and culture too - via events and reading. And the MP Lobbying has also been a massive learning area, and along with that, engaging with media - sometimes it's as much about just getting on and doing it as anything, but workshops and encouragement and support from others have been crucial in getting me to step out of my comfort zone many times over this part year! … And on it goes…! 

Likewise, all of the things in the other categories above really go some way to changing systems too probably. These categories are much overlapping in many ways - there is no real need for clearer delineation - that would only be to simplify and lose the essential depth and complexity - but I feel that each category adds to the overall picture, and for me it is important to cover all of those areas, so that is why they form my list (for now anyway!). Meanwhile the pieces of your puzzle might look completely different, as they will form a different, vitally important piece of that overall big picture puzzle too. All that matters is that ultimately we are all headed the same way and we are all stepping forward, one step at a time, leaving behind all that no longer serves, and growing all that is good, while we add our piece to the bigger puzzle that is the new world we are heading to. 

And all that is good, is growing.

Prelude and Now - Part I - The World as We Know It Is Ending

I'm going to start with a disclaimer on this one. I hold no judgement on anyone. At least, that is, I try my very best. No one's perfect hey. If I fall into judgement, I do my best to notice, to stop, and to remember to see the perspective of the other (or myself, as the case may be). I choose to always try to do my best to see all with love - that part at least is easy. Love is always easy. The tricky bit is sometimes just clearing some of the rest of it around to make the way of love more clear as onward we go. So. There are some strong feelings in this one. They might stir the pot. But I'm not going to censor myself. I'm making the choice to share my full truth here. If you feel triggered, I apologise. I say again, I do not judge you. I love you. This is my truth. It may not be yours. And that is ok. Love exists regardless. It is the only way. Truly. If you have big feelings surface here that you struggle with, if you have any questions, if there's anything you would like to talk through, if there is anything you would like to understand, please feel free to get in touch. No question is wrong, no thought is stupid. Much of our society has striven to hide the truth. But the truth is the truth and it is always there. It cannot be denied. And the aim is always to grow together, to move forward, to support one another. So, I am here. Please feel free to connect. This is part of my work.

So, that important piece said... I continue...

And once more, the stories spiral around again to meet each other in the same place but, thankfully, for me personally, a new place, a better place and a stronger place... For the challenges we now face are also bigger and stronger than ever... And so it continues... In amongst it all, hoping to find more and more ways of growing all that is good - love, love, love... and letting go of all that no longer serves us - the unnecessary burdens that hold us down... and on we go, forward, onwards, upwards always... Working to hold dear all that is so very precious, so very fragile, so very beautiful and so very irreplaceable, and to follow our visions of the better ways that are possible, that must be possible, that already exist, that have always existed, and that must be strengthened, supported, grown and shared, of living in connection, balance and harmony with all of Life. All of Life and its many complex and interconnected cycles and symbiotic processes; living, dying, birthing, waxing, waning, growing, changing, transforming, all part of the one big wonderful thing that is Everything, nothing separate from anything else, all connected across space and across time. This we have to hold dear.

After I last wrote, I was reflecting on listening, listening to my body, listening to the trees and to the birds, listening to the land, listening listening listening... More to come on all that, hopefully soon...

And it all came together and suddenly I realised I hadn't even written of - at least not explicitly as a focus - and maybe I hadn't yet even had the fully conscious understanding (but how could I have missed it when it was so all pervasive...??) that underneath it all, under all my personal struggles of those dark days years ago that I have written about, was the biggest anguish of all, that really ultimately got me to where I ended up. The absolute despair, fear, guilt, disgust, shame, anger, overwhelm, despondence and ultimately paralysis of knowing the true depths of the dire situation we humans have created that now faces us all, and all of Life as we know it.

All those years ago, back then, I had learned more and more and more about how what we humans do is damaging all the fragile, beautiful and complex systems of Life on this planet. And the more I looked for solutions, the further away they started to feel.

I could easily tick off the 100 tips for living greener I found in a book in the library, which only left me wondering where to go next. Because I knew that was not enough. So I found new things to learn and new things to try, new people to learn from, new worlds to explore, ever more learning. I pushed myself and pushed myself to and beyond my limits in trying to live within the footprint of just one planet, just the one planet that we have, but it never felt like I was doing enough. And while I was almost completely breaking myself doing that, meanwhile whenever I ventured further out from my safe zone of home with my trees and my birds, more and more I was confronted by a feeling that all my efforts were futile.

I was directly surrounded by people who care deeply, who work so hard to live so well and who have the lowest footprints of anyone I know. I lived and worked in concentric and overlapping circles of communities within communities, populated by many such caring, light footprinted folk. So when I stayed close to home it was easier to hold hope, to feel that things would be ok and that everyone cared and we would all work together to forge the new ways.

But the further I went from home, the more I was bombarded by the pollution and waste, concrete and asphalt (where's the ground gone??), and general destruction of the rampant consumerism of this Western society that I had become extra re-sensitised to, after a desensitising early life in the city was followed by my time moving closer and closer and closer to Real Life - Nature - Community - True Life, and I meanwhile became ever more sensitive as my long overwhelmed senses were finally given the chance to reopen, reawaken.

And so, just as all the foundations of my life - relationship, home, family, community, career - were simultaneously becoming shaky and ceasing to hold me up, as I have previously written about, all this was going on, somehow under the surface, too big to bring fully out onto the table. And in the end, as I was dealing with, or - I suppose - not really dealing with, all the massive feelings; as I continued the ongoing intellectual struggle to understand and find solutions; and as more and more I felt the onslaught on my sensitive soul by this rampant destruction I was party to in a way that left me feeling I could not escape; it all just became too much. I was paralysed. I had pushed myself physically, mentally, and emotionally, to my limits and still none of it ever felt enough. I had worked volunteering to try to help make the world a better place in group after group but I could no longer hold patience against my fear of the too slow turning tide of change, though at least I time to time hoped change was actually happening, albeit so painfully slowly. I felt like those who were involved were already on board and it was like preaching to the converted, while those outside the circle of influence could never be brought in from their mutually exclusive paradigm. I catastrophised what I saw because of my fear and stress and despair. It all just seemed too impossible and I became paralysed by it all. And with my overwhelm and paralysis I became ineffective in the work and group by group I stopped participating.

And meanwhile if I did venture as far as the big city, on a journey to visit family or friends, the black stream of the marching majority in the streets of bright lights, billboards and vending machines overwhelmed me further and I clung to any sight of green growth coming up through the cracks in the concrete and almost stopped to wrap myself around any tree I passed in relief. It felt like all these people were just going along like nothing was happening while inside I wanted to scream at them all without even realising that was what was happening inside me. And so something inside me started to shut down. Again, overwhelmed, overwhelmed, overwhelmed, on all fronts, my system crashed.

And so in amongst it all, I defaulted to escapism, an old pattern of many varieties. I read fiction for younger readers, I watched series and movies on my computer, I stayed up late, I slept in, I drank, I smoked, I ate chocolate, and other junk food, then berated myself for contributing to all the problems. I didn't stretch to hard drugs but I did pretty much all the other things. More on that soon too anyway... I also stopped interacting with people so much, while I've always been such a social person. I still interacted, but it wasn't the same. Over time I withdrew more and more and my interactions became much more limited.

Where things went from there is part of the ongoing story yet to come, but it was certainly a big journey to find my way out of the maze I put myself into. But there is where I am now up to in that story. And so while all these big feelings were creeping back to me, as I found the shape of where I really had been, back all those years ago, they were meanwhile shaping up to come back to hit me for six again, as happens in the cyclical nature of things. I suppose it's always present - more on that later along the way too - but recent events have both held it at bay in some way, and then more recently allowed it to come to back to the forefront again...

So if you've been reading, you'll probably know that I've basically spent the last few years in what I sometimes refer to as the baby "survival zone". Pregnancy, new motherhood, pregnancy again (plus toddler = extra exhausting) and then another baby to join the family. Intense times. And so during these times the focus has been mostly on just getting through each day. Sure there's been a lot of joy, love, laughs and a whole lot of cute along the way, don't get me wrong. But I don't think anyone would say it's all easy peasy fun and games... Some find it harder than others; and for me I don't think it's been quite the hardest it could have been, but it's certainly been a long way from the easiest. I'm still working all this stuff out really. More on that to come too... It's even just that there's a lot of logistics involved in the simplest of things and then just when you think you have it all sorted, something - most often something to do with pee, poo, potties, nappies, food - oh woe food, or maybe naps, just for something completely different - will throw a spanner in the works and you're back working it out all over again... And sleep. You don't know just how important it is until it's gone... I spent my early life wishing I didn't have to waste time sleeping, and skipping more of it than I should have along the way. Now I just think... "One day I will sleep again." On repeat. So, survival zone... Aaaaaaaanyway...

So meanwhile, my personal footprint, now also expanded to a family footprint divided by the four of us in our domain of responsibility, has taken a slide....... And so after all my work making it smaller and smaller as much as I could over all those years, it's now a big long mucky yucky slip sliding footprint of more plastic than I've had to throw out for a long time (largely to the recycling for whatever that's been worth in this day and age, but also occasionally to the bin as required for the non-recycleables, yuk, hanging my head in shame - and goodness knows much if not all of the recycling probably joins it in landfill too - hmm this piece has been so long in the writing that the collapse of the recycling system here has come and stamped this in block letters, currently working out how to get anything recycled is a bit of a mission....... ergh...... let's get back to that one too...); much more electricity used than I'd like; more new things bought than probably the previous 10 or more years combined, even despite the many hand me downs from amazing generous folk - thank you all so very muchly; and waaaaaaaaaay more driving than I've been able to stand really.........

Which only just goes to hit me for another 6.

Wham. Bad me. Bad bad bad bad me. The guilt, the berating, the personal criticism, and the shame....... Because one needs more pressure when in the survival zone. Of course.

And round 1 when Big Little was small I did push myself. We had one car only for months and months and Little Big Little and I would get round and about on foot and on public transport and I would carry her on my front and a backpack on the back and shopping bags on each arm sometimes. We left the house when the car was going, with Beloved on his way to work, dragging us both out of bed after nights of much interrupted sleep. We used just 49 disposable (80% compostable) nappies in the whole just under 2 years she was in nappies - 49 too many for my liking! The odd 1 was in the early days, given from a friend who got it in the op shop - it leaked as much as the cloth ones anyway, so I passed on the other couple she gave me. The other 48 were used over nights, in a desperate bid for better sleep, maybe a year and a half in. It didn't help. So on the upside, after beating myself up about it, I went happily back to the routine of full cloth nappy use.

Round 2 with Little Little it was double survival mode for a while. We had already long succumbed to the second car, I had even taken Big Little for long drives on multiple occasions solely for the purpose of getting her to nap, after she conveniently decided she'd like to try to drop naps completely at about 16 months, while her contemporaries were meanwhile dropping from two to one naps or still on two, and I was pregnant and exhausted. In the nursery with premmie Little Little they sadly only had disposable nappies available, rather than the cloth and washing service that they had available on the ward with Big Little in her Little Little days. So that started us on the wrong foot and once home we used disposables regularly for night time and sometimes in the day time for Little Little from the start. I kept count out of guilt for some months, but lost some of my records about 9 months in, after a particularly guilty time of using disposables full time, while on holiday at the beach with my sister and her family who were visiting from overseas, and perhaps because of the lost records, or perhaps just because it was just too horrible to keep on counting, after that, I stopped keeping count. Who knows how many horrible hundreds we have used now another 8 or so months along.

And food. We do our best. We get veggie boxes weekly (at least when I remember to order it!) - organic, almost entirely packaging free, more or less local (sometimes choosing the 100 mile box but sometimes the mixed choice including items from further afield within Australia). We try to fill up our own containers at the Wholefoods Collective, and thankfully there are now several shops offering more and more fill your own container options round town. But children. Feeding small children. What a mission. And the time, lack of time, to do anything the long way, cooking, shopping, anything. Or even just the trying to fill up your own containers with a three year old at your feet desperate to help (which works, sort of, sometimes...) and a one year old in the sling in front of you preventing your arms from quite so easily meeting at the opening of the container, blocking your view, and making it just that bit tricky to meet scoop with container...

But anyway. We can only move forward from where we are at. And we must acknowledge that we have come forward from where we have been. Even when sometimes it's an up and down journey along the way... Enough berating, enough excuses. It is what it is - as some would say and some would hate to say - and we must just always try our very best to go forward from where we are at. Which is where I am at right now.

So back to the train of thought before the berating and excuses... So part of why all this stuff was stirring again was that I felt I was finally coming out of baby survival mode, and I was feeling more and more restless and angry at myself for taking shortcuts I wouldn't have before (in case you missed that little outburst there), for doing things in ways I wouldn't have let myself for years. I knew it was time to kick myself in the pants and improve my game again. And also join with some community actions to grow and spread the love and inspiration a little further.

And so then while all this was stirring, the hope of Australia's "climate election" was building. Wow. This could be it, I thought, along with many. Time for some real action, some real change, led from all the levels, not just the uphill battle from below.

And then wham bam bang crash knock me over completely, along with everybody else in this country - unfortunately apparently a significant minority - who actually have all the actual information and actually understand fully, or at least to some degree what's going on (and no thanks to major media there) and choose their actions and make their vote in alignment with caring first and foremost about the future of humanity, this planet and all the life on it. So as it turns out, it would seem there was some kind of bubble effect and everyone who thought this was the "climate election" was apparently just not aware of the majority there outside the bubble with their damn sharp needles pointed ready to pop, who obviously just have no idea what is really going on thanks to the efforts of media mongrels mangling the truth of the matter with the support of all those in favour of profit at any expense, or at least I'm choosing to go with the benefit of the doubt here and try not to start blaming the general public (aside from aforementioned mass media and those declared to be in favour of profit at any expense, because there the answer is clearly written and propagated) for putting their own short term gain, real or falsely promised and therefore imagined, ahead of well, the future of everything really.

So boom. There went the hopes of many. Mine among them. And back I fell into that pit of despair, disbelief, disgust, anger, fear, overwhelm.

But this time round it's been different. This time I am stronger. I won't say it hasn't been a hard few months, for me along with a lot of people. The stories in the news about mass extinctions, ongoing forest clearing and ecosystem destruction, and the future we face if we don't halt carbon emissions and start extracting carbon back from the atmosphere - Right. Now. - are absolutely devastating and frightening. And the knowledge that the people with political power, the people with all the power of lots of money, the people with the power to control large proportions of media, the people in charge of most of the decisions that have far reaching consequences, all just seem to think it's ok to just destroy it all, is terrifying. But this time, instead of paralysis and withdrawal, I have found my way onwards. There is hope. And there is action swirling, on the ground level. The masses are gathering, the momentum is building, the tide is turning. It is and it must. Because the ONLY time is NOW.

This time I am stronger. I know the power of love in my heart. I know how to take care of myself better as I go, and I do it. I have stronger connections, within and without, so much more experience, skills, tools, techniques and knowledge of things that go further, deeper into realms of truth and meaning, in ways I never expected. I have found so many different parts of the story on my journey, all that I will be writing about as I go. And I am aware of what is going on within me and I allow it, I acknowledge it, and I have ways to help manage it while working always onwards, forwards, upwards...

So on we go. Finding ways to leave behind all that no longer serves, and to grow all that is good. To find new ways from old ways, to continue the good work and keep on finding what to do next, and/or perhaps what to be next, to move together towards the visions of a better future.

To be continued. (Preview hint, next instalment will be about all of the ways forward currently in process right now, right here, for me.)